sleepFacingWest's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Sea of Love Tears 「恋水の海」]

Well written! This has a really cinematic feel to it, and it sits in a really delicate place between forlorn longing, love, mystery, and excitement.

The mix sounds pretty good. The viola (violin?) at 0:34 sounds a little synthetic, but for some reason it doesn't bother me much in the context of the genre. Adding a tiny bit of room reverb to this might help cover up some of the software feel of this, but in general the performance is good.
1:01 - the percussive hit on the 2 and 4 is a bit bright. I'd pull that back a touch. It's not overtly loud, but its just enough over what I'd expect for this genre that it pulls away a lot of attention after the 4 bar or so.
You've done a really good job of getting realistic performances out of your MIDI instruments which is incredibly hard. I feel like this took a ton of work.
I'd love to have heard some dubstep elements in this. As is, it sits very neatly as a genre piece. You've done everything you set out to do, and the piece evokes some strong imagery and colors in my head. That said, I really want to hear a unique twist on this. If you continue to work on this, I'd love to hear how you make it uniquely yours.

Tennon responds:

Thanks

[Niko - Out Of Control]

Compositionally, this track seems to do everything you needed it to do for the genre. Sounds and feels dubsteppy!
3:54 - The lead synth here is WAY too bright. You could knock that back a good amount and it would still cut through the texture. Make sure after you rest your ears for a few hours to check your mix at super low volume. You'll hear things like this popping through the mix immediately.
Everything else sounds pretty good to me. Admittedly dubstep is not my thing but I can't subtract any points for simply being a genre I don't listen to on heavy rotation. Besides the aforementioned balance issue, you've got high marks. This is a great example of a dubstep track, but to get a score bump I'd like to hear something more uniquely 'you' coming through in this. You've got a good feel for balance, mixing, and form. You mentioned that this was 'generic'. If you want to bump this to the next level, I'd think about putting more of your specific personality into the next track (at least for competition). That said, well done!

[Miston Music - Bombs All Over The Place]

The thin quality of the melodic synth works at first, but at a certain point I needed something a little more beefy, or something to fill out the middle of the track. So much of this sounds very hi-passy with the bass drum layered underneath, and it makes it a little difficult to glom onto anything.
4:18 - This is what I was waiting for. The hook is nice, and you built up to it very patiently.
4:53 - There's a squiggly synth on the offbeats here that sounds like it's going to be a riser building into the next section, but it doesn't quite get there. I'm not 100% sure what the function of the sound is. It works as a texture, but at this point in the track, I felt like it needed some more forward momentum so it doesn't peter out.
4:59 - I really wanted this section to open up. You did a really good job of patiently building into this section and teasing the main melody, but I felt like this should be the moment when everything explodes. Instead it sort of tapered off and ended. This track could probably be twice as long if you took this section to really develop more of the musical themes you have going on. Undertandably it's hard to write a 10min+ track under such a tight deadline, but as is, it sounds like a very promising track that wasn't quite finished.
You've got some really nice ideas here, but I think I wanted more to come out of it. The section at 1:29 where you killed the bass drum was really refreshing. The riser leading into the next phrase was great. I could use more of this sort of thing.
Great dance music always feels like a micro/macro study in tension and release. You build tension on the small scale between phrases just to release it going into the next phrase, but those phrases all collectively build tension and release them on a large scale as well until you get to that 'head exploding' moment when even people who don't like to dance feel like they need to fucking DANCE! This is all within the minimal confines of house/dance music which can arguably have really rigid rules. I think your ideas are really good, and this track has some great moments, but I think it needs a little more love in handling that tension/release relationship both on a micro as well as a macro level. Please keep working on this. There's tons of potential!

[Chain Reactions]

This is pretty good MIDI production!
The Braaams at 0:36 could have been more pronounced. They're harrowing and a nice violent counterpoint to the nervous strings I think they could blast a bit more. This is especially when considering the power of the brass section vs. the presence of the strings.
Speaking of which, I'd try adding a little more reverb to the strings. Not so much as to muddy them up, but 'mics' sound a little to close to what I'd expect from an epic cinematic track like this
0:53 - I love this moment. That's such a great cheeky melody and the break is perfect before the bombastic entrance at 1:04.
1:37 - those string stacks are really great! I want to hear some subtle rumbling in a bass drum here (personal opinion). Maybe a quiet crescendo between the 4th and 5th measure.
You do a good job of using the odd time signatures effectively. I had to go back and count this, but never once did I really think about the subdivision manipulation when listening casually. It means you're using the technique effectively as a composer instead of making it some sort of mathy trick. Nicely done.
2:19 - those hemiolas in the violins are really nice, but they are way louder than the brass blasts which just seems a bit unrealistic. I think you could pull those back a bit, and beef up the brass some. The East West horns specifically tend to benefit a bit from some super subtle overdrive distortion in aggressive stuff like this. If done with a light touch, it seems to really bolster their presence without breaking them up too much. In general, I want the brass to be more harrowing here. The ostinato in the strings isn't the interesting part...it's those rising lines in the low brass that really drive the section (reminds me a bit of "The Dream is Collapsing" from Inception).
2:33 - those french horns should definitely come out a bit more. Really nice writing, but they're getting buried under the strings.
In general I really liked this. I can appreciate the amount of work it took to write all those layers and mix everything. The piece was SUPER deep orchestrationally, and nothing sounded prefab. I've used East West extensively and it's hard to believe that you did this all within the allotted time for this last round. Kudos. I think you have some balance issues specifically with the strings. I'd suggest trying to compare your mix to some of your favorite bombastic film cues to get things leveled a bit better (this specifically reminds me of Hans Zimmer, and more specifically Inception, but whatever floats your boat).
Well done.

[Freeing The Lunatic]

Dark! Cinematic! Chase!
I really like the low percussion right in the beginning. It's sort of like a mix between boot stomps, war drums, and muted gunfire in the distance.
The faster accented notes in the strings sound like you painted them into your DAW. When it comes to orchestral work, I'd typically recommend playing things in live so you get more variation in timing/velocity which will give you a more realistic performance. If your piano skills are anything like mine (not great) you can always go back and push notes around or semi-quantize to get things more on time.
The EQ on the tutti strings sounds a little bright when compared to everything else as well. I'd consider rolling off some of the extreme highs just a touch to help blend them into the texture a bit more and soften the attacks a bit. Realistically, an ensemble this big would have to be housed in a very large room to record everything. As such, some of the higher frequencies of the strings would get sucked up in the space while traveling to the mics.
0:43 - The arpeggios in the cellos sound a bit unrealistic. If I were actually playing this section as an instrumentalist, I'd accent the first beat of each of the arpeggios (and maybe lightly accent the high notes a little), and the subsequent notes would be much less so. If you play this on a keyboard, the effect would be much the same.
That solo viola(violin?) sounds great!
Those war horns and crying are a powerful moment. The juxtoposition is really evocative and pushes some vivid imagery.
Compositionally, I think I wanted more out of the development. It's a little on the short side. You introduce some really great musical themes, and then the piece ends, but the epic beginning made me feel like this should have been longer if it's a standalone piece. If it's programmatic (it's telling a specific storyline) or it's envisioned to be the score for a film, I would make sure to mention that.

[So Lit]

Production is pretty solid. I was skeptical when I saw the brick wall mastering, but this is super clean and balanced.
The crash cymbal that hits on the 4th beat of the first of every 2 measures starting at 0:27 is a bit too loud. I like the accent, but it hits much more aggressively than anything else in the track and is a little distracting.
This fits pretty neat and clean into a lot of trap I could hear on the radio. Not particularly risky musically, but you do a great job of nailing the genre, and the production is super clean. I like the piano loop you use in the background as it provides a nice light counterpoint to the heavier bass and hi-hat. I think you could pull this up in the mix a tiny bit so it pulls more attention between verses. Well done!

[illbefine]

I love the jazz/pop feel of this. It's got a bit of quirk to give it personality to boot. Those vocal samples doubling the synth are really fun.
The super quiet intro is cool, but I think you could bump the gain on this just a touch. I like how it draws you in and I think the difference in volume between the intro and the rest of the track works, but the disparation between the two sections was just a little too much.
The sibilance and fricatives in your vocal performance are really hard to hear. I think the words in the vocal line would have more definition if you made those upper frequencies a bit brighter. A little compression on the vocals would also help keep things audible when you taper the ends of the words. I like that you didn't go for hyper compressed bubblegum pop vox, but in this case, a lot of the lines can be quite difficult to hear at all.

1:20 - I love this moment. I would consider adding a synth pad with a resonance/cutoff sweep to this section under those descending synth intervals (something like 0:34 in 'Lights' by Max Tundra or a more subdued/subtle version of the sweep you have going on at 3:04 in your track).

I like the brilliance of some of those crash cymbals, but I think they could be pulled back a bit so they don't stick out quite as much.

The descending piano line is awesome.

In general, I really dig this track. The style is a unique and memorable take on some pop tropes. You get extra points for imbuing personality. There are some mix issues that I think could be addressed (mostly in the vocals...I'd knock this up about half a point or more if they were more audible), but in general this was really enjoyable. This is one of the more original submissions this round. Cheers!

icantpronouncethis responds:

Thank you so much for the review. I did have many obstacles working with vocals due to it being the first attempt rally working on it. Compression has always been an issue in my music production. Maybe I should crank it up to a eleven than slowly drop it down to an acceptable level. One thing I learned for sure is to prepare before recording anything. Apparently high school choir class is not enough to get a good take.

[To The Clouds]

Super moody and cinematic.
The bass has a super slow release. I'm not sure if this is the synth/sample or if it's an effect, but it works in some places better than others. When the bass moves faster (such as the rising section in 2:22), the decay fights the onset of the new note and causes a moment of dissonance between the notes creating a bit of muddiness.

In general I could use some more layers of some upper percussive layers. You have good driving motifs in the lower and mid layers, but picking out a few places to bring in some textural layers of clacks, shakers, tiki tikis, could really help accentuate some of the sections and create more dramatic shifts when you pull them out. For example, if you added some subtle layers starting at 0:30 (and suddenly shift to a different layer at 0:47) it would make the muted synth/harp section at 1:02 REALLY stand out.

The same goes for 1:41. You could build layers of activity leading up to this, and then if they suddenly dropped out for those drones/flute to take over, it would feel gosh darn epic. it's a great way to subconsciously build tension.

2:57 - after the cymbal cresecendo, I'd consider adding a bass drone an octave below the current bass in a sine wave or something to really help that section pay off. Right now the crescendo leads into something, but the texture remains largely the same as it was leading up to that point. You could go all Disney Magical Moment with it too and layer in some super subtle tinkling of a mark tree, though it's up to you if you wanted to go that route or not.

All in all, it's really great. I think you accomplished what you set out to do. The midi instruments didn't stand out, and you did a good job of balancing it with live recordings. Well done!

FYI, I'd look into the possibility of using Vienna Ensemble Pro to help offload some of the duties of your workstation if you're having trouble keeping up with running all the virtual instruments. Not everyone loves the extra layer of tech it adds, but I've found it indispensable when it comes to large ensemble work.

etherealwinds responds:

Okay okay, I finally got some time on my laptop to respond to reviews again.
Hey SFW! There is some really good advice here. I really appreciate you adding specific pointers for me to try out! I'll try them all out and see what fits and what doesn't :)

Thanks for the library recommendation also! I'll look into it.
One of my motivations to join the competition this year was actually the pleasure I got from listening to your music last year. I was real impressed.

[Apocalypse]

Cool sound design. Really moody.
The intro could probably be a bit quieter. The synths are pretty awesome, but the energy drops a little bit too much once the pulse comes in. Just roll that back a touch and I think you'd be set.

0:44 - The lead synth here is super bright. It's good that it's the focal point, but it buries everything else.

1:27 - there needs to be more definition in the sound here in the upper frequencies. Try accentuating some of the upper frequencies of that pulsing synth? Something needs to cut through the muddiness of the air raid sirens and the bass.

1:53 - I'm missing some presence in the upper frequencies. The definition on the sound is a little fuzzy. It also sounds pretty heavily compressed here as if you're relying on the limiter to do a lot of work.

Compositionally I felt like this track should have gone a little further. The build up was super slow and patient (which is cool) but unfortunately that tends to promise more in the way of melodic development. It's not uncommon in electronic music to just start writing in the DAW to see where it goes, but the form of a piece can get lost pretty easily that way when you just work on it from beginning to end like that. In order to see the bigger picture, I'd try mapping it out on a piece of paper so you can visualize the piece without having to concentrate so much on the specific synths, production, and all the tech. This can not only help you 'tell a story' with you music, but make writing easier since you can identify parts you can reuse here and there.

00 - 0:45 intro with slow build up.
0:45 - 1:20 - Main theme makes it's first entrance.
1:20 - 1:53 - More build up
1:53 - 2:25, I would have expected to hear the main theme come back with some variation (something like counterpoint, rhythmic flourishes, cuts/chops maybe) but instead the focus is on the harmony which has been going on since the beginning. You actually wouldn't even need to use the main theme here. You could introduce a second melody, and then at the end of the track, splice chunks of the two parts together to tie everything up in a neat little poetic package. That said, it needs something. The change in synth sound is nice, but the rhythm is not active enough to carry the section as a secondary layer, so once the newness of the synth sound wears off, the track feels a bit stagnant. To keep focus, something needs to develop in the B section whether it's melody, harmony, or rhythm. Developing timbrally is a cool idea, but it's insanely difficult to pull off just doing that alone.
2:29 - 3:00 - track breaks down and builds up again. There are echoes of the main theme here, but we only get fragments. If this builds up into a crazy go nutz section, then 1:53 - 2:25 section could function as a tension builder. It didn't give you what you wanted because it made you wait for the section after 3:00
3:04 and on - ending. Those bass drum hits felt like they were leading somewhere, so to end it here feels a little odd.

The form is basically:
[intro | A | buildup | B-ish? | buildup | end].
Looking at it that way, it might make the piece pop more if you did:
[intro | A | buildup | B (second melody)| buildup | AB (both together) | end]
or:
[intro | A | buildup | B-ish (just harmony as is) | buildup | A' (A section with slight variations) | end]
You could even simplify it and just do:
[intro | A | buildup | A' | end]
of if you're ambitious and can keep manipulating the main melody:
[intro | A | buildup | A' | buildup | buildup | A'' | end]
The 5th and 6th section of that last form are really one long buildup which creates tension going into the final statement of the original melody. If there's no B section, the trick is to keep changing the A section slightly every time it comes back so it stays fresh while also glueing the track together.

I think you have some great ideas in this track. The synth sounds are pretty awesome and dark without getting too witchy but they get muddy at times. You have a really great melody, but I feel like as a composer you could do more with it. Make the notes work harder for you.

[Pretentious]

Great vocal delivery! The tone of your voice is totally appropriate for the genre and the lyrics are fitting. A minor thing regarding text setting - putting the emphasis on 'is' in 'this IS fareWELL' in the chorus is a little awkward. Typically you'd try to write the melody so more important words get the stronger beat. Instead of starting that line on the pickup so 'is' starts on the downbeat, I'd try doing 'THIS is FARE-WELL". It's the difference between <and ONE two-THREE> and <ONE and TWO-THREE>. It's not a deal breaker and there are examples all over rock of awkward lyrical placement (Green Day's use of the world 'mel-O-dra-MA-tic' in Basket Case instead of how you'd actually say it 'MEL-o-dra-MA-tic' has always bothered me in particular).

The guitar needs to be WAY more beefy in the mix. It's pretty subdued right now. I can sort of hear what you're going for, but it lacks the punch I'd expect in this sort of alterna-rock track. I'd try rolling the bass off of the rhythm guitars a bit and let the bass guitar take care of that. Maybe double track the rhythm guitar and hard pan them left and right. Also, adding a SUPER short reverb to the guitars will help beef them up in the mix. If you tracked the guitars using dynamic mics, maybe try a stereo pair of small diaphram condensors?

The track looks pretty heavily compressed, but you have tons of headroom across the board. Was the limiter set a bit to high? I don't think you necessarily need to normalize it to get that brick wall, but because you have so much headroom, you probably could have squashed the track less and let some peaks pop through the texture. This may have helped with

3:45 - The guitar palm mutes/bass/bass drum are fighting each other pretty hard here. Try to notch out places for each of the instruments in the mix. They don't all need to occupy, say, 150hz. Really only one instrument is needed there at a time, the rest will fill in the illusion that they also live there.

All in all, really nice writing. The song is fun, energetic, and has that 'Foo Fighters' aesthetic you were going for. I'd book up on some mixing tutorials to get your ideas to really sparkle.

dude2312 responds:

Hi, sleepFacingWest.

Great critique, I must say. I'd say it's a matter of perspective in regards to the placement of the accent (I happen to like it Green Day quite a lot and it is not awkward for me). As of right now, I am taking tutorials on mixing as this is my 4th attempt at recording. Before that, I had never recorded anything in my life!

So, I thank you for your review, I think it gives me a lot to work on and more importantly, I appreciate you dropping by to listen to my song!