sleepFacingWest's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Apocalypse]

Cool sound design. Really moody.
The intro could probably be a bit quieter. The synths are pretty awesome, but the energy drops a little bit too much once the pulse comes in. Just roll that back a touch and I think you'd be set.

0:44 - The lead synth here is super bright. It's good that it's the focal point, but it buries everything else.

1:27 - there needs to be more definition in the sound here in the upper frequencies. Try accentuating some of the upper frequencies of that pulsing synth? Something needs to cut through the muddiness of the air raid sirens and the bass.

1:53 - I'm missing some presence in the upper frequencies. The definition on the sound is a little fuzzy. It also sounds pretty heavily compressed here as if you're relying on the limiter to do a lot of work.

Compositionally I felt like this track should have gone a little further. The build up was super slow and patient (which is cool) but unfortunately that tends to promise more in the way of melodic development. It's not uncommon in electronic music to just start writing in the DAW to see where it goes, but the form of a piece can get lost pretty easily that way when you just work on it from beginning to end like that. In order to see the bigger picture, I'd try mapping it out on a piece of paper so you can visualize the piece without having to concentrate so much on the specific synths, production, and all the tech. This can not only help you 'tell a story' with you music, but make writing easier since you can identify parts you can reuse here and there.

00 - 0:45 intro with slow build up.
0:45 - 1:20 - Main theme makes it's first entrance.
1:20 - 1:53 - More build up
1:53 - 2:25, I would have expected to hear the main theme come back with some variation (something like counterpoint, rhythmic flourishes, cuts/chops maybe) but instead the focus is on the harmony which has been going on since the beginning. You actually wouldn't even need to use the main theme here. You could introduce a second melody, and then at the end of the track, splice chunks of the two parts together to tie everything up in a neat little poetic package. That said, it needs something. The change in synth sound is nice, but the rhythm is not active enough to carry the section as a secondary layer, so once the newness of the synth sound wears off, the track feels a bit stagnant. To keep focus, something needs to develop in the B section whether it's melody, harmony, or rhythm. Developing timbrally is a cool idea, but it's insanely difficult to pull off just doing that alone.
2:29 - 3:00 - track breaks down and builds up again. There are echoes of the main theme here, but we only get fragments. If this builds up into a crazy go nutz section, then 1:53 - 2:25 section could function as a tension builder. It didn't give you what you wanted because it made you wait for the section after 3:00
3:04 and on - ending. Those bass drum hits felt like they were leading somewhere, so to end it here feels a little odd.

The form is basically:
[intro | A | buildup | B-ish? | buildup | end].
Looking at it that way, it might make the piece pop more if you did:
[intro | A | buildup | B (second melody)| buildup | AB (both together) | end]
or:
[intro | A | buildup | B-ish (just harmony as is) | buildup | A' (A section with slight variations) | end]
You could even simplify it and just do:
[intro | A | buildup | A' | end]
of if you're ambitious and can keep manipulating the main melody:
[intro | A | buildup | A' | buildup | buildup | A'' | end]
The 5th and 6th section of that last form are really one long buildup which creates tension going into the final statement of the original melody. If there's no B section, the trick is to keep changing the A section slightly every time it comes back so it stays fresh while also glueing the track together.

I think you have some great ideas in this track. The synth sounds are pretty awesome and dark without getting too witchy but they get muddy at times. You have a really great melody, but I feel like as a composer you could do more with it. Make the notes work harder for you.

[Pretentious]

Great vocal delivery! The tone of your voice is totally appropriate for the genre and the lyrics are fitting. A minor thing regarding text setting - putting the emphasis on 'is' in 'this IS fareWELL' in the chorus is a little awkward. Typically you'd try to write the melody so more important words get the stronger beat. Instead of starting that line on the pickup so 'is' starts on the downbeat, I'd try doing 'THIS is FARE-WELL". It's the difference between <and ONE two-THREE> and <ONE and TWO-THREE>. It's not a deal breaker and there are examples all over rock of awkward lyrical placement (Green Day's use of the world 'mel-O-dra-MA-tic' in Basket Case instead of how you'd actually say it 'MEL-o-dra-MA-tic' has always bothered me in particular).

The guitar needs to be WAY more beefy in the mix. It's pretty subdued right now. I can sort of hear what you're going for, but it lacks the punch I'd expect in this sort of alterna-rock track. I'd try rolling the bass off of the rhythm guitars a bit and let the bass guitar take care of that. Maybe double track the rhythm guitar and hard pan them left and right. Also, adding a SUPER short reverb to the guitars will help beef them up in the mix. If you tracked the guitars using dynamic mics, maybe try a stereo pair of small diaphram condensors?

The track looks pretty heavily compressed, but you have tons of headroom across the board. Was the limiter set a bit to high? I don't think you necessarily need to normalize it to get that brick wall, but because you have so much headroom, you probably could have squashed the track less and let some peaks pop through the texture. This may have helped with

3:45 - The guitar palm mutes/bass/bass drum are fighting each other pretty hard here. Try to notch out places for each of the instruments in the mix. They don't all need to occupy, say, 150hz. Really only one instrument is needed there at a time, the rest will fill in the illusion that they also live there.

All in all, really nice writing. The song is fun, energetic, and has that 'Foo Fighters' aesthetic you were going for. I'd book up on some mixing tutorials to get your ideas to really sparkle.

dude2312 responds:

Hi, sleepFacingWest.

Great critique, I must say. I'd say it's a matter of perspective in regards to the placement of the accent (I happen to like it Green Day quite a lot and it is not awkward for me). As of right now, I am taking tutorials on mixing as this is my 4th attempt at recording. Before that, I had never recorded anything in my life!

So, I thank you for your review, I think it gives me a lot to work on and more importantly, I appreciate you dropping by to listen to my song!

[Emotion Creator]

This is mixed pretty well. I like that you didn't brick wall it in the mastering. The piece has some room for dynamics and there's room for things to pop through the texture without relying on sidechaining. Everything is present and it never feels squashed.

I think you could have done more with the melodic development. As is, the track sounds like a great background but I was waiting for something to pop through. Either a lead synth or perhaps a guitar line. Not necessarily something as noodly as a solo, but just something that the ear can glom onto and interpret as a centerpiece. The 3 note motif is fine, but when it's repeated like that it becomes more of an ostinato than a melody. Even in the minimalist music of the 60's, the cells that seem to repeat over and over don't ever actually repeat verbatim, and it's the microscopic changes in multiple layers that create forward momentum and textural interest if not motivic in the traditional sense.
1:26 is a nice moment because it breaks up the repetition
2:47 - this stands out because we finally get a focal point. The guitar playing is really great here. I think you could have done more of it.

[Sugar High]

You've made a discovery it often takes people decades to learn! Writers block is bullshit, and super simple motifs can birth entire pieces of music with some elbow grease and a modicum of experience. The trick is starting somewhere even if it's just 3 notes.

This piece is fun. It seems like the sort of thing I could see working well at the climax section of a show like Love Hina. I think you created the feeling you were going for.

The percussion could use a little work in this. You do a good job of getting an acoustic sound, but you could sweeten the mix in some of the more exciting sections a bit by subtly doubling the drums with an electronic kit (such as the section at 1:50). A light attack quick decay 808 bass drum would help fill out the decay of the kick drum, and doubling the snare with something with a bit more of a smack would help give it a bit more presence. This would also help tie together the piano vs synth thing you have going on.

I could use a little more presence in the low end as well. Using a low sine wave drone under the bass guitar type sound would help boost some of the low end and give the track more body. You'd still feel the pulse from the psuedo bass-guitar, but you'd feel the bass of the sine wave.

Thanks for your hard work!

ColinMuir responds:

Hey thanks for the review. Wow I've never thought of doubling drums, but that sounds like it could work, i'll try that some time. :D

[Unraveling the Mask]

The accents on the downbeats of the cello are a little extreme. I'd try to pull those back slightly.
The hand percussion should be further back in the mix. While they tend to cut through in a mix, they would never be this present in a live ensemble since the room would have to be pretty big to accomodate such a big ensemble. I'd pull them down in volume as well as pull the dry signal back a bit so it sounds like they're further back in the room.

Violin performance is pretty good. I'd try to shape the phrases a bit more with expression to create a more believable performance.

The harpsichord is a bit too loud in the mix. Harpsichords are very quiet instruments, and in an ensemble like this, it would be further back in the mix.
1:22 - the transition here is a little abrupt. I think you could have tapered the instruments a bit more into the thunder sample.
1:59 - I would have liked to hear basses doubling the cello down an octave here to really open up the arrangement. You do a good job of building into this section, but I think it could be more. Perhaps switching to bowed strings in the background strings would be nice?
2:12 - this part stands out as a new idea that doesn't ever go anywhere. The previous section ends a little too abruptly, then this comes from nowhere. The abrupt ending of the previous section could work, but you absolutely need to develop this further to make it work. It's a brand new idea in the piece which is typically not something to bring in at the very end unless it's written for a movie and there's something on screen (in the case of a score) that makes the tag make sense, or perhaps it's a callback to an earlier section (or foreshadowing to a future one) in the context of a bigger programmatic piece (this happens in famously in Symphony Fantastique in quite a few places, but it makes sense in context). As is, I can only judge the piece by what is presented.

In general the production needs a little mixing love in post. The balance between the instruments is a little funny, and they all sound like they're from different sample libraries (mostly because I assume they are). This is typical of MIDI scores, but there are tricks to making everything sound cohesive. Samples for MIDI instruments are often recorded under the most idea/pristine conditions. While this offers a lot of flexibility in mixing and they sound great by themselves out of the box, they typically don't sound right when mixed with other instruments. This is partially because this type of music would be recorded as an ensemble in a large room instead of individual instruments in a booth. First, I'd do some work with reference recordings to get basic mix levels. Find live recordings of a similar ensemble and put it in your project, then bus all your instruments to a separate track. A/B between the two of them, and try to get yours to sound as close to the reference as possible. You'll learn a TON of tricks this way when it comes to manipulating reverb/eq/mix levels. Look at maps of how a traditional orchestra is laid out and realize that, while sections are spot miked in recording sessions, most of the mixing work is done to replicate the sound we're used to hearing in a concert hall (eg, percussion sounds further away because since it's the loudest and cuts through the air fairly easily, it's placed in the back of the room so it doesn't overpower quieter instruments like violins or harpsichord). When we work with virtual instruments, it's easy to forget what a live recording sounds like, but when you A/B it, it can help you make better mix decisions. If you want to get REALLY down with how each of your instruments work, actually transcribe a chunk of that recording note for note into the instruments, and then do the same A/B work. One of the tricks is to put reverb on each group of instruments to get them placed in the "room" at the right place and depth. Then, on the master mix, put a SUPER subtle super short reverb on everyting over the top of that. This will act as a sort of glue and pull all the instruments together into the same space. The main work will be done by the individual reverbs, but the final one will help smooth over differences between the sounds of the instruments.

All in all, nice work compositionally. This has a very Danny Elfman feel to it. A little more work on the orchestration and mix and I think this track will shine even brighter!

[Forever Jazz]

Jazz! This stuff is notoriously difficult to produce. It's orchestrationally dense and harmonic theory aside, requires that you listen to a lot of recordings to get a sense of how each of the rhythm section players function. I'm bumping you're score up half a point for attempting something so tricky. That said, I have a lot of thoughts as this is something I've spent a ton of time studying.

14 bar form? The head feels really abrupt. While odd divisions of measures between phrases (in this case, 8 + 6) are not unheard of in jazz (especially in more modern work), you set up a very traditional feel with the changes/melody, and rhythm section style, but then end the second phrase 2 measures earlier than expected. I'm not saying you have to stick to the rules, but in this case the odd form doesn't seem to feel like the best compositional choice. It's definitely possible to make this idea work, but

The drums are a little too active in the descending ii-V turnarounds of the first phrase. You're using fills that feel like they belong in a shout chorus, but they need to be pulled back in activity significantly for small combo work like this.

0:20 - The saxophone solo is incredibly hard to hear through the rhythm section. For the track in general, both the guitar and piano are comping almost non-stop which is a big rhythm section no-no. Since they essentially play the same roll either use one at a time, or they need to play off of each other (and a lot less), accenting syncopated hits here and there. Freddie Green/Count Basie are the exception, though one would argue that Green's constant accented 2 and 4 beats on a mostly acoustic sounding guitar are more rhythmic than they are harmonic. Even so, Basie is famously SUPER sparse with his accompaniment. Performance-wise, I like that you drew from melodic source material of the head, but the sax solo should breathe more (I mean 'breathe' as in phrasing, but if this was a live performance, the sax player would literally have to circular breathe to play from beginning to end like that). It's a constant barrage of notes with little to no phrasing. While you do a good job of highlighting the interesting notes between the changes, less is more. If you want to get to some of those longer bebop licks, build to it, but don't start with the constant 8th notes.

0:38 - Guitar solo: FINALLY! Because the guitar isn't playing changes, the texture thins out a lot more and it finally has a little more space. Moving to the hi-hat on the drums helps with pulling back the density. This feels a bit better. The rhythm section is still pretty choppy. You're focusing a little too much on accenting those hemiolas. It's almost like you temporarily modulate to 3, then back to 4, but regardless of intentions, the piece definitely stays in 4 throughout with some dotted quarter note syncopations in the turnaround of the 1st phrase.

I would rather have heard extended solos on the saxophone and guitar than hear the drum and bass solo. While your Buddy Rich programming in the drums is impressive, the wind tends to get sucked out of the momentum of a piece with bass and drum solos since everything else drops out. You can make it pay off if the piece has been going for awhile and the other soloists play through the form several times. In that case, pulling everything back for a drum or bass solo is a welcome change of texture. That said, in this context it feels a little like a high school jazz ensemble where everyone in the group gets a turn to play a solo, then you play the head again and end. After that, the piece continues to lose momentum while the ensemble trades 4s with the drums.

The end is kind of disjunct. The full brass section comes in to what was previously just a sax quintet (and actually started as a piano quartet). If you want to write a big band piece, it should start as such. I definitely don't advocate for all the instruments playing all the time, but it's strange to wait until the very end to bring in the full ensemble. I'd try to spend some time listening to large ensemble recordings and actually write out what instruments are doing what and when. If you can actually transcribe the whole score, more power to you, but even just getting the broad strokes of "trumpets accenting chords" or "saxophones playing pads" will help you get a sense for how to orchestrate for large jazz ensemble. That said, the voicings are pretty good in the brass section. That can be a pain in the butt to voice, so well done!

The end chord is just gorgeous. Loved that.

In general the piece felt like band-in-a-box. I think you have some great material here, but the instruments sort of went on autopilot for the most part. Part of what makes jazz so insanely difficult to produce is that you have to spend a ton of time sequencing each and every part to make it believable. I have some thoughts on how to imbue more realism into your MIDI instruments and general production as well, but I feel like I've taken enough of your time as it is.

Thanks for participating. It's really refreshing to see someone do something outside of the typical house track.

AzulJazz responds:

Thank you so much friend, I think your review was hard but very accurate, I will try to remember and apply each of the points you mentioned, still I have been interested in that other thoughts for imbue more realism into my music work.

[ALESDA! - Wake Up]

The mix is pretty tight. Everything sounds like it sits well in the mix and the synths are super clean. I can hear individual parts, but they gel incredibly well as a whole.
Most of my critiques regard the actual composition, specifically the form.
I think you could have done more with the section starting at 2:00. It's a nice moment that gives us a break from the brick wall mixing that came before it (and after), but then everything comes back suddenly at 2:12 at full force. This doesn't allow the track to build in the way I think its supposed to up to 2:43. That section could really pay off a lot more if you had made the quieter section work harder for you. I'd extend that section, and slowly build into the next section so by the time you get there, you absolutely can't wait for that big moment.
Compositionally, by 3:09 I definitely needed another layer of some sort to add variety to the sound world. In general, the riff is good and does what you need it to, but I feel like you could get more mileage out of it if you held your cards a little closer to your chest for the rest of the track. The track feels like it should peak at around 3:20 (the golden section or 2/3rds of the way through the track), but we already got that climax at 1:20. Because it was so big so early on, it doesn't leave much of anywhere to go. I'd suggest either starting smaller, or make it bigger at 3:20 (the mix is pretty brickwalled throughout, but you can create melodies that play against the lead synth to create a greater sense of density/excitement). Then it will feel more like there's a semblance of a story to the music.
All in all, it's a super clean mix. The form needs a bit more work to make the big sections actually feel like an arrival. The melody works for the genre, although I think taking some more risks would help your music stand out a bit more.

[Dragon Slayer]

Epic! Great mix, really great guitar playing. Extra points for the use of live instruments.
I could have used more melodic activity in the slower sections. I also don't think you needed the tag at the end. It was fun, but structurally didn't really seem to pay off since it was a completely different direction from everything that preceded it, then ended before it was able to develop.
The cut to the guitar bit at 0:40 was a bit abrupt. I could have used some more finesse in that transition.

350teric responds:

Thanks man! :)

[Shell]

Nice work. I like the slow build. The Mogwai wail at 3:30 is awesome!